A Stormy Story

This story involves Buckland, brandy... And well, a boat. Not a good combination, I can tell you!
It all started when I travelled to Buckland to sample some mushrooms there, for my pies I mean. A whole mushroom faire was organized. There were mushrooms in many forms: pies, stew, dried mushrooms, even some mushroom biscuits!

But all that eating and sampling got me pretty thirsty. Then I spotted two merry lads with a bottle and asked them kindly if I could have a sip. They welcomed me kindly and offered their bottle to me. It was brandy, of all drinks! Maybe not the best thing to kill one's thirst, but it didn't matter to me back then...

So I sat with these two lads and talked a lot, mainly about them mushrooms and pies. As they heard about my pie shop, they suggested I should try selling fish cakes too. "We could go fishing in the Brandywine," the one with a large belly said.
"Aye!" the other one with an enormous belly shouted. "Let's go and catch some fish for your cakes, Miss Pycella!"
Good idea, but...
Then the one with a large belly said: "We should take a boat and go to the middle of the river. The biggest fishes are right there!"
Well, that wasn't a good idea at all.
But, at that point, I had drunk lots of brandy, and you know how that affects one's judgment.

As we were about to go and leave the fair, an old hobbit came to us – he had overheard our plans.
"Oh yer shouldn't go to the middle of that darn river, I tell ya!" he said.
"There's a vicious river beast lurking there. It has taken many hobbitses already!"
But the three of us just laughed at the old hobbit.
"Now that's some gammer's tales, Master!" the owner of the enormous belly said.
"We can handle the river and the fish."

Well, we found a boat at the riverbank and climbed into it with our fishing poles. At this point, it would have been wise to look up to the skies, because a storm was rising. But we were stone drunk. So, as we got to the middle of the river, the waves were already quite tall and the boat was rocking heavily. I remember how all those mushrooms and brandy were mixed in my tummy pretty thoroughly.
"We'd better return to the riverbank," the lad with an enormous belly said.

And so we tried, but it wasn't possible. We noticed that the boat was leaking, and we couldn't get to the riverbank in time! Then I saw some rocks nearby. "Let's try to get there before the boat sinks!" I shouted.
So we did. But as the other two had climbed onto the rocks and it was my turn, and awful wind began to blow. It took the boat away from the rocks, and to make matters even worse, the boat was sinking all the time, with me inside!

After that, I don't really remember much. I was in the water, sinking like a stone with all that stuff in my belly. As I began to sink under the waves, I felt a grab at the back of my dress.
"It's the river beast!" I thought. I could feel it's sharp teeth and claws!
But the beast didn't drag me underwater, but onto the shore.

When I managed to open my eyes, I saw that the creature had dragged me to the riverbank that looked a lot like Marish... Then I heard some angry shouting from the nearby fields.
"What have you been chasing out of that water again, Grip? Come home, can't you smell that storm comin'? Silly dog!"
It was Farmer Maggot. And the river beast... That was one of his dogs, Grip!
The dog looked at me a bit confused and ran to his master. I decided it was best for me to seek shelter in the Golden Perch.

Well, after that I have made sure that when there's a storm coming, I don't go near a river...
And I if I choose to drink brandy, I don't drink a lot of it!
The end.