A Mysterious Mission from Lobelia

(Image by Pennyroyal)

On December 9th (2018), we hobbits received a mysterious mission from Lobelia. Here is a summary what happened.

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We gathered at Bag End with our tracking pets (owl, crazy pierate fox, hedgehog, Abby and another good dog, sheep...) and finally, after a few sips of bravery, I was ready to face Lobelia. She wasn't feeling talkative, it seems – she just threw a letter at me and shood me off. I read the letter to others:

You Nosey Hobbits! I am afraid I need to ask for your help. I heard you are quite a nosy lot, searching treasures, frights and whatnot. So this might be a suitable quest for you. Certainly not for me, no.

Dear Miss Pippa has gone missing. She is a princess of sorts and I am very fond of her. She helps me out in Appledores, cleaning the foul apples from the ground, the good lass. But one day, she disappeared! I have no idea what has happened. I suspect some foul play! Some rascal must have kidnapped her while she was in Appledores! You MUST help me and track her! It’s almost Yule, and it would be most horrible if she couldn’t come to my Yule feast.

Miss Pippa is a bit plump, young, sweet, has a red ribbon on her head. And she really likes apples. If someone has lured her out during the day, they might have had apples!
 
Now! I know that you lazy little rascals won’t do anything of use if there’s nothing to gain from it. Well, should your search be successful, you will get Budgeford sausages as a reward.

    Grim regards, Lobelia.

So, we wondered who this Pippa might be, no one had heard from her previously. But we decided to help and go to the Appledores to search for clues. We didn't find any clues, but we found many tasty apples instead! Only thing we saw were shrews, and they didn't have anything to say about Miss Pippa's disappearance. Maybe we could ask if any hobbit nearby saw something strange? Everyone thought of the gardener, Gaffer Gamgee. He could know something. So we went to him. When we questioned him, he answered: "I haven’t seen anything out of the ordinary. Oh, there was an urgent apple delivery a while ago, but nothing else. I think the carriage went north… So maybe Overhill or Brockenborings."

Oh! It might have been a brandy apple delivery! Our shirriff immediately suspected that the evil, not-bounderproof apple brandy of Brockenborings was quilty for everything. But the case wasn't solved yet, we needed to find miss Pippa! As we strolled northwards, a travelling dwarf joined us, curious of seeing so many hobbits walking on the road in the middle of the night. We stopped in Overhill, no apples there, so we continued. We passed by an abandoned carriage before Brockenborings, but it seemed old and mossy, probably been there for a while already, so it wasn't related to Miss Pippa's case. As we crossed the bridge, Miss Lina said that some of us could have their Yule bath now in the forest river, and the hobbits chuckled, some rather nervously.

Then we reached Brokenborings, starting to search for apples. There were many of those in the trees, but... then someone saw an apple peeler who sat next to a huge basket of apples. This must be the delivery, we thought! So we went to the lad and asked where the apples had come from. They were indeed from Appledores! Then we asked if there was a hobbit lass among the apples. “Why yes, there was an old lady, aye, carrying a heavy sack on her shoulder!” We were baffled. But Miss Pippa was a young lass. “An old lady?” I asked. “Not young?” The hobbit shook his head. “No, definitely old as heck! Oh, and she asked me somet… now, what was it… Now I remember! She said: ‘Should someone follow me, please tell them NOT to go the scary miner’s way and NOT to question a person who digs well.’ That’s all!” The dwarf looked at him sharply and asked, if the sack had moved. And actually, the hobbit lad thought it had moved… maybe. Shirriff suspected that the lad had had too much brandy lately.

So, we reckoned that Miss Pippa might have been in the sack, kidnapped by this old lady who had headed to Scary. We didn’t know anyone there who could dig well, no one but Nimelia, that is, our mining shirriff. As the night grew darker, we strolled towards Scary. Things were getting more mysterious and scary. Maybe there were some spiders involved?

When we reached Scary, we started to look for someone “who digs well”. Miss Lina looked at the well that was next to the post office – maybe “digs well” was a riddle and referred to the well? Was there someone in the well? Then, we saw the postman standing in front of his office, and remembered his name… Postman Digswell! Maybe the old lady referred to him! So we asked if he had seen an old lady with a heavy sack on her shoulder. Master Digswell replied: “Yes, I saw her a while ago! A lovely lady. She gave me an apple and said, ‘You tell anyone who might ask about me that they should NOT go near the water, even though the island might call them.” A strange advice, that.”

Eep! Things were indeed getting scary and beyond. The only island that was near was the Girdley Island in Brandywine, not far off. Maybe that was where the lady had gone to? We headed through the fields, trying to dodge any dangerous wildlife we encountered. We lost Miss Nimelia at some point to the tempting ore nodes, but she soon joined us again as we reached the riverbank. There our tracking pets started to sniff around. The dogs looked pretty happy now. Then Abby, Miss Lina’s dog, found something: a red ribbon! So Miss Pippa must be close by. Suddenly, we could hear some high-pitched voices from the island. That must be Miss Pippa! We had to save her… but we had to cross the water first. There were some rocks in the water, and we started hopping on them. Sadly, someone had mined rocks away from the river, so all of us fell into the water. Well, not Potty, who floated over using his well-patched hat as a boat.

At last, we were all on the island, shaking the water off our clothes. Miss Lina pondered if this old lady might be Miss Almi, a former nanny, who was very keen in giving Yule baths to young hobbits. Then, we started to look for Miss Pippa. She was nowhere to be seen though on this small island… then, I spotted movement in one thick bush. When we inspected it, out came a… pig! Miss Pippa was a pig?! And she had a note tied to her tail:


 Hullo, dear adventurers!

 Well done! You have now had your annual Yule Bath in the Brandywine River. You have also found Miss Pippa, Lobelia’s precious oinker. I borrowed her a bit for this nanny trick.
 But if you wish, you can always keep her, or find her a home where she would live a happy oinker’s life. Lobelia would of course be a bit upset if she doesn’t get her Yule roast this year, but I guess she can eat her apples without pork too. The decision is in your hands now.

 Oh, and enjoy your second extra Yule bath when you float back to the riverbank.

 Yours sincerely, Miss Almi, a former nanny.

So, it Miss Almi was behind it after all! It was just another nanny trick of hers. People still remember the Green Dragon evening one year ago when Almi had summoned all to the Bywater bank to "introduce the new Yule pie", but actually, she just wanted to give everyone a Yule bath.

But what to do with Miss Pippa the Pig? We didn’t want to give her back to Lobelia. What could be a fitting home for her? “Not Songburrow! Not Songburrow!” Miss Lina shouted. “Songburrow! Songburrow!” Miss Tibba shouted louder, and it seemed that the thing was settled. Luckily, there were some tasty sausages left in the bush (not any shrewsages we might have gotten from Miss Lobelia), so we made a campfire and started eating and drying up. The dwarf played us a tune and we started to make pig breeding plans for our new pig. Then someone remembered that we still have to swim back to the Shire side of the river… sadly, no sausages or driftwood was left to make a raft out of them. After a few more Yule baths, we finally reached the Shire and started our journey home. Wet, clean, tummy full of sausages and with a new pig, Pippa. And maybe next year, we will be wiser to dodge Miss Almi’s nanny tricks...

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