The Took Who Married a Fairy

Roses are red, violets are blue,
And this is a story that might not be true
It’s about a Took who, once in his life,
Loved a fairy and took her as his dear wife.

When he was little, his ma told about fairies
Who baked the most wonderful pastries
And whenever the lad had his birthday
He found a tasty pie at their doorway
“That’s a gift from a fairy”, his ma explained
Even though they were pies she had baked

The lad grew older, believing his ma’s lies
And became a true lover of fairy-made pies
“When I come of age, I will marry a fairy”
“Together, we will run a magical bakery”
One day, he had a walking stick in his hands
And started to search for the fairy lass lands

Up on a hill, a hobbit lady was napping
Having a picnic, with a pie in a wrapping
But when she slept, a bear came over
It was hungry and had a bad honey hangover
It roared and the hobbit lady woke up
She screamed and climbed up to the tree top
The bear ate the pie, and left for bear business
But up in the tree, there was a lady in distress

Then the lad came by, still after his fairies
And he heard the cries from behind the leaves
“Is it you, dear fairy, up in the tree?” said he.
“I’m what you will, now help me get free!” said she.
The lad climbed up and helped the lass down safely
And when they were there, he bent his knee.
And the rest is rumours and hobbit history.

Until his dying day, he thought the lass was a fairy
And no wonder, for her pies were quite lovely
Believe what you will, it might not be true
But love is a real thing, even for a Took.

The Apple Tree

Once there was a hobbit couple who lived in their cosy burrow, in a peaceful village at the forest edge. Their life was most uneventful, and they were happy about it. They loved long walks, tales by the fire and picnics in their garden. Their garden was pretty simple, nothing fancy; only a single apple tree stood there. But even though the tree bloomed every year, it didn’t grow any apples.
”Maybe we should cut it down”, the husband said to his wife.
”No, we shouldn’t!” the wife replied. ”I like to lean against that tree while I sit and read my book.”
And so, they let the tree stand there.

One day, they were having another picnic in the garden. It was a hot day, and they sat under the tree, in the cool shadow. ”The juice bottle is empty, my dear”, said the wife. ”Could you please fetch more?”
As the husband went back in, he looked back at his wife. She was leaning against the tree trunk, eyes closed and smiling, holding a cup of juice in her hand. She looked beautiful.

But when the husband came back to the garden, his wife was gone. The cup had fallen on the ground under the tree where she had been sitting. The husband shouted after her and looked everywhere, but there was no sign of her. When she didn’t return by nightfall, the husband got restless.

Next day, he summoned all his neighbours to help him with searching. They combed the woods for the missing hobbit lady, but they found nothing, not a single footprint. The husband didn’t want to give up, though. He searched the whole Shire and even visited his wife’s scary relatives in Staddle, but no one had seen her. Someone started a rumour that the lady had left her husband for another lad or somet. Days and months passed, and it seemed the most probable explanation for anyone. For anyone, except the husband. He knew his wife wouldn’t leave him like that.

Autumn came, and his wife’s birthday. To commemorate his wife, he went to the apple tree where he had last seen her. He laid a bouquet of roses under the tree, and then, he saw something laying on the ground… An apple! And when he looked up, the branches were hanging heavy with red apples. The tree had never grown a single apple before, so it was quite a surprise for the hobbit lad. The apples were quite tasty and made a delicious juice with a sweet taste. But the strange thing was that the first apple always fell from the tree on a certain date: the wife’s birthday.

The hobbit lad started to spend more time in his garden and with the apple tree. On peaceful, warm summer nights he even slept there, and in his dreams, he could hear his lost love singing as she had used to.

Years passed, and the hobbit lad became more certain of it… His wife was somehow trapped inside the apple tree. But how could he free her from the spell? The hobbits were not magicians or wizards and couldn’t deal with magic, he knew. But there was a thing that many Shire hobbits mastered very well: gardening.

So the hobbit lad turned to Master Hamfast Gamgee who was a respected gardener and asked him to take a look at his apple tree.
”It looks like a fine and healthy apple tree to me”, Master Hamfast said as he inspected the tree in the garden. ”What is wrong with it?”
The hobbit lad blushed as he told about his suspicions related to his wife’s disappearance. Master Hamfast frowned but he didn’t say anything. ”I know it sounds crazy”, the hobbit lad said, ”but it disturbs me still. You know some trees might act strange, Master Hamfast.”
”In the Old Forest, yes”, Master Hamfast said and looked at the apple tree, taking a few steps back from it. ”But whatever the case is, I’m afraid that I can’t help you here”, Master Hamfast sighed.
Master Hamfast waved goodbye and was about to leave, when the hobbit lad got an idea.
”I have one question you could answer though”, the hobbit lad said.
”Let me hear it”, said Master Hamfast.
”What do apple trees need to grow apples?” the hobbit lad asked.
Master Hamfast smiled. ”Well, that’s an easy one to answer: they need another apple tree nearby. A lonely apple tree seldom grows apples; they need to be cross pollinated.”
”You mean they need… a partner?” the hobbit lad asked.
”Yes, in a way”, Master Hamfast said and chuckled. ”I could plant you one.”
So Master Hamfast took a seedling from the Appledores and planted it in the hobbit lad’s garden.

Years passed, and the seedling grew bigger and stronger. The hobbit lad tended it the best he could, with Master Hamfast’s advice. Meanwhile, the hobbit lad had grown older himself, but the hope in his heart grew stronger as well.

Then one autumn, he woke up to realise that it was his wife’s birthday again. With his legs shaking and clutching a walking stick, he went to the garden. And on the grass, he saw the first ripe apples lying, fallen from both trees. Amongst them lay the love of his life, sleeping peacefully. Her hair had turned grey and her face was wrinkled like the tree trunk, but she was more beautiful than ever. The husband went to his wife and kissed her, and that’s when she woke up.
”That was a long picnic”, the husband said.
”I am still hungry”, the wife smiled. ”Is it supper time yet?”
So they went inside and had a meal, and probably lived happily ever after.
The end!

Esther the Flower

Once there was a flower which bloomed on the side of a mountain. It was a pretty flower, star-shaped and white as snow. But living up there on the cliff, it was feeling pretty lonely too.
”I want to explore the world and its wonders”' the flower thought as it looked down to the distant valleys. ”But here I stand, rooted to the barren cliff with only the goats keepin me company...”

One day, it looked up to the sun and cried: ”I want to be free like you and wander free!”
The sun looked at the tiny flower and pondered.
”So, you want to roam free and see the world? Are you sure that is what would make you happy?”
”Of course I am, silly!” the flower laughed. ”Days are so boring here and I am wasting my short life. I want to see the world!”
The sun grinned, but as it felt (indeed) a bit silly that day, it decided to help the fool little flower. ”Let me help you, little mountain star. I will turn you into a lady, so you can roam the world.”
”Oh wonderful!” the flower cheered. ”Please make me beautiful then,” it added.
”I will,” the sun said, ”but there is one condition. You shall not be an ordinary lady, no. You are only a flower in an human form, and not a real lady in that way. Because of this you shall not fall in love nor kiss any other person.”
”And what if I do that?” the flower asked.
”Then the magic loses its power and you will turn into a flower again,” the sun replied.
”Oh my! Well, I suppose I won't kiss anyone then, whatever that is!” the flower giggled.

So, the sun turned the flower into a beautiful lady who was dressed all in white. The sun named her ”Esther” which meant a star. Esther loved being human. She could climb down the mountain and move! She was no longer rooted to the earth, and she could go wherever she wanted! So Esther travelled from country to another, explored the seas, the forests, plains and fields. The world was beautiful and exciting, full of wonders.

But after a while, she started to feel a bit bored. Esther always wanted to see new wonders and places, but it was getting harder after each journey!
”Surely there must be more to see,” she thought.
One day she asked the sun: ”I know you have seen all the places in the world from up there,” she said. ”Please tell me, what is the best of them?”
The sun sighed. ”There is one place that is the best of all, but it is a place I can't go.”
”Oh! What is it then?” Esther asked.
”The best place on earth is your very own home,” the sun said. ”In case you don't know, it is the place where your loved ones are. It's the place dearest to you.”
Esther felt betrayed. ”But... You said I cannot fall in love if I want to stay human! If I want to feel the joy of being at the very best place on earth, do I have to turn into a flower again?”
”Dear Esther,” the sun said, ”I would give anything if I could be at home somewhere. But here I am, doomed to wander the skies forever so that all places on earth could enjoy sunshine.”

Esther burst into tears and ran. She ran through forests, jumped over brooks, climbed over hills, running away from a loneliness she couldn't escape.

One spring day she came to a little town that was located in a peaceful valley. It was one of those places where time seemed to stop, in a good way though. I guess it was pretty much like the Shire. As she was resting on a riverbank, she heard voices, she heard... singing! She saw a fellow on the other side of the river, sitting on a rock. He looked as lovely as he could sing. Esther felt something strange inside her. It was a feeling she had never felt before.
”Oh my,” she thought. ”This must be the thing they call love!”
First she felt afraid, but then she understood that she could hide her feelings, keep them secret.

She soon found out that the boy came to the river many times a week, and there he sang. And when the sky started to turn dark, he left. Esther listened to the singing from a distance so that the boy couldn't see her. She tried not to fall in love and not to show any further interest...

But one day, she couldn't resist anymore. As the boy left the river, Esther decided to follow him. The boy went to a farm surrounded by beehives. He sneaked under a window and waited there for a while. Then, Esther heard the most beautiful voice on earth. It was a lass, singing from the window to the lad! First, the boy listened to the lass, and then, he joined the singing. It was the most beautiful duet ever heard, a duet of secret love.

After a while, the singing stopped, and the two lovers started a conversation. Esther soon found out that the boy wanted to marry the lass, the beekeeper's daughter. Yet the boy was afraid that the father wouldn't approve his proposal. Esther sighed. Why is this thing called love so forbidden, she pondered.
”I must do something. These two belong together!”

Then she got an idea! When the boy departed for his home at the break of the dawn, Esther followed him. She reached him on the fields next to the farm.
”Wait!” Esther shouted to the lad who was a bit startled, for sure. ”I know how you can get your dear girl,” Esther said.
”Her father must soon wake up. Bring him here onto this field, and I will see to it that his daughter will soon be your wife.”
”How... How do you know all this?” the boy asked.
”I just know. Go now! Tell the beekeeper that you will grant him something precious if you may marry his daughter.” The boy looked baffled, but he obeyed nonetheless.

Esther waited on the fields. Soon, the beekeeper, the boy and the lass came to her.
”This boy says he will give me something precious if I give him my daughter,” the father said.
Esther looked at the rising sun. ”This boy will surely make your daughter happy, as he would make any girl happy,” Esther said.
”He showed me what love is, and as it seems, it was all that I wanted to discover. Now I can finally say that I have found my true home.”

And then, as the first rays of the sun streamed onto the fields, Esther walked to the boy and kissed him. She could feel the love flow through her veins, and it was the most beautiful thing she ever felt. But it also made the magic disappear, and after the kiss, Esther was no longer a human being. As she was filled with love, she didn't turn into one single flower, but into many. In an instant, the fields were covered in flowers, each star-shaped and white as snow.

The sight made the beekeeper (and his bees) so happy that he couldn't say no when the boy asked if he could marry the daughter. But happiest of all was Esther who had finally found the best place on earth: her own home.

The End.

The Best Presents

Here is a story I told yesterday at the Green Dragon. It's about giving presents!

You all must know the feeling: when you want to give a present to someone, but you don’t know what to give them! And it gets even harder when that someone is very special to you.
Now, I am going to tell a story about an elderly lad who wanted to give a present to his wife…
But some things got in the way.

Once upon a time, an elderly hobbit couple lived in the Shire. They were simple farmers, working hard on their fields and garden and cherishing the quiet and peaceful way of life. The husband loved pipeweed and spent long days smoking his pipe on the porch. The wife liked to get dirt in her hands and nurture her plants with love and tender care. And the husband loved her wife’s cookings. Actually, he loved everything she did. Her song could turn any bleakness into sunshine, her smile warmed up any cold heart. The husband only wished that he could show her how grateful he was for having her. But anytime their anniversary got near, he just couldn’t figure out what he could give her as a token of his love.

Once again, the anniversary was getting near, and it was a special one: they had been married for 50 years!
“I need to give her somet special now,” the husband thought. “Maybe a fine dress, a tasty dinner and a beautiful necklace would do.”
He decided to go to Michel Delving to order all those things. First, the husband went to see the best tailor in town. He ordered a dress made of the finest green silks available, decorated with the loveliest patterns.
“She should look as pretty as the blooming Shire fields in that dress,” he said to the tailor.
Then, he went to see the best cook in Michel Delving.
“Please make me the most perfect pie, one that melts on the tongue and reminds the eater of their childhood days,” he asked the cook.
Finally, he went to the best jeweller of Michel Delving.
“Please make a fine necklace with a jade gemstone, rich in colour like the Shire forests”, he asked the jeweller.
He felt pretty pleased with these gifts himself. But things got in the way…

When the day of the anniversary arrived, the husband went to collect all the presents he had ordered. First, he went to get the dress from the tailor. It was just like he had imagined: a fine, silken dress, decorated with flowery patterns.
“My wife will be happy when she sees this… as well as I, I bet she will look dashing in it!”
He took the dress and continued to the cook. There, he received a pie that made his belly rumble:
A sweet berry pie, made from fresh blueberries, cream and a lot of sugar, of course.
“This will make my wife happy… well, it will make me happy too, I guess,” he said, licking his lips.
Finally, he got to the jeweller. There, he got the most beautiful jade necklace he had seen.
“It glooms bright like my wife's eyes… it is perfect,” he thought.
So, he got all the things he wanted to give his wife and he left for home.

On the way, he spotted some lovely flowers on the field.
“Oh, flowers of course!” he thought and ran to pick up some of them. He left the dress, the pie and the necklace on the edge of the field while he started to gather a colourful bouquet.

But suddenly, he heard loud munching noise… There it was: a hungry goat was eating the lovely green dress!
“You rascal!” the husband shouted and ran towards the goat. The goat got scared ran away, trampling on the berry pie… The lad looked around in horror. Where was the necklace?

He heard screeching from the nearby tree. There it was: a greedy magpie was inspecting its newest loot, looking victorious. The husband was only left with his bouquet.

So, he had to return home, emptyhanded (except for the bouquet). His wife was sitting on a garden bench, watching happily at the sunset.
“I am so sorry, dear wife,” the husband said. “I really wanted to give you something special on our 50th anniversary, but all those gifts I prepared got lost.”
“Oh, what were they?” the wife asked.
The husband told about the fine dress, the tasty pie dinner and the beautiful necklace. The wife listened and smiled happily. “I have already received all those lovely things from you,” she said.
The husband looked baffled. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“I don’t need a silken dress; I need somet that keeps me nice and warm: a hug from you,” she said and hugged her husband.
“And when I need something tasty, all I need is a kiss from you, dear.” And she kissed her husband.
“And what would I do with all those jools, when I have all these wrinkles from smiling? To me, they are more precious than any jools you could give me: they are the true token of happiness. No one will ever take them from me, they will stay with me until my dying day. So thank you dear, for all those things you have given me,” she said.

After that, they celebrated every day like it was an anniversary with hugs, kisses and a lot of smiling, giving them even more wrinkles. We should live our lives like that too.
But a pie or too wouldn't hurt, I am sure!
The End.

Under Shire Skies

A young couple drinking tea
On the porch
Exchanging looks can tell
They are bound by the sweetest spell
Under Shire skies

Dancing in a sea of blooms
She's a beauty
And though world's full of fear
Her song makes it disappear
Under Shire skies

Lazy days of laugh and smiles
Their kids grow
Tales told at campsites
By a hobbit, old and wise
Under Shire skies

Autumn comes, leaves turn brown
It gets dark
But the stars shine bright
As old lovers walk at night
Under Shire skies

In the end, together still
Never parted
After a life full of feel
They sleep in eternal peace
Under Shire skies

About the song

Here is a song I wrote for our Bard: Ronald Dwale, also known as Master Tolkien. It is a song about the love between him and his dear wife, Edith. Here, they are both hobbits of the Shire. It is best sung to a sweet tune by Simon & Garfunkel, Bleecker Street.

 

Simon & Garfunkel – Bleecker Street

Shy Hobbits

He loves a fair market lass
Who sells apples of highest class
Down in Waymeet she lives
He loves how her red copper hair
Is flowing in autumn air
He should tell her how he feels

But he's too shy
He's just too shy
He is too shy
He's just too shy

He sees how she is walking by
Then she stumbles with a cry
Dropping apples on the road
So he runs to help her out
Picking apples up from the ground
Their eyes meet
Tell her now...

But he's too shy
He's just too shy
He is too shy
He's just too shy

She gasps as she sees that sweet boy
Whom she has always eyed with great joy
Her secret love he is
Now's the time to speak to him
To reveal your strongest feelings
But she just blushes and smiles

'Cause she's too shy
She's just too shy
She is too shy
She's just too shy

They are just two shy hobbits
They are just two shy hobbits
And in love
And in love
And too shy

About the song

We've all been there, haven't we? Suddenly when you meet that right person, you miss the right words... or any words at all. Here is a song for all you shy hobbits, best sung to a tune by Radiohead, Fake Plastic Trees.

Radiohead – Fake Plastic Trees

Perfect Pies

A sweet lass has woken up quite early
To start the day with meals that make her smile
She picks up spoons and bowls from a trolley
It’s time to cook a perfect morning pie

She loads a tray with dough and good filling
The pie is bursting like a girl’s heart
She hears how her own belly starts rumbling
She can’t resist a perfect berry tart

Now she sits with the pie on her doorstep
Wants to tuck in and enjoy her pie
Then she hears a restless rustle in the fence
The neighbour lad looks at her with hungry eyes:

“You can't hide your perfect pies!”
“Could you hand me one enormous slice?”
“I thought by now you'd realize”
“There’s no way to hide your perfect pies”

Another day, another pie is baking
She peers out, with anxious eyes
She locks the door, feeling her hands shaking
She can’t let that lad take her perfect pies

She takes the pie and sits down by the fire
When she hears a loud, shrieking scream
It is the lad, falling down the chimney
Black as night, but his face brightly beams

“You can't hide your perfect pies”
“Could you hand me one enormous slice?”
“I thought by now you'd realize”
“There’s no way to hide your perfect pies”

She loads a cart with boxes that smell lovely
Wheels it down the winding forest road
She finds a place where she can dine safely
The neighbour cannot reach her anymore

Yet again, when she unloads her carriage
Someone comes trampling through the woods
There he comes, that round boy from her village
Leaping over rocks and toadstools

The lass looks at him and cannot help but smile
“Oh dear boy, you surely love my pies!”
“For them you always go the extra mile”
“You surely have opened up my own eyes”

“I won’t hide my perfect pies”
“Instead, I’ll be your wife”
“Only now I realize”
“There’s no need to hide my perfect pies”
“There’s no need to hide my perfect pies”
“There’s no need to hide my perfect pies”

About the song

Here's another song about pies and love! They often go together in the Shire. This one is best sung to an Eagles tune, Lyin' Eyes.

Eagles – Lyin' Eyes

He's Always a Boffin to Me

He can be a bit crazy, a hobbit gone mad
He is going away, which makes me feel sad
He has no grand weapons, no blades made of steel
He's lost all his wits but he's always a Boffin to me

He will make you run errands, fetch a thing or two
And when you get back, there is still more to do
He makes you to run 'til you tire out your feet
He's bit of a menace but he's always a Boffin to me

Ooh, he has made up his mind
He will travel so far
Soon he's out of my sight
Ooh, but he never gives up
And he never gives in
He will keep his own mind

And he'll ask you to swim in the brown Brandywine
He'll make you bash toads and get covered in slime
He will make you face bats and nasty old trees
Say what you will, but he's always a Boffin to me

Ooh, my dream still persists
I will get him someday
I'll become his dear wife
Ooh, but dangers await
The road is so long
I hope he'll be fine!

It's dangerous business, going out your own door
The road can lead you to a treacherous moor
So I will guide him and let him fool me
Cause I'm a bit crazy and so is he too
And he's always a Boffin to me

About the song

I wrote this one when the Bingo Boffin questline was first inroduced in LOTRO. He is a helpless lad who seeks adventure out of bounds. Even though he is like a menace, you can't just say no to those sweet blue eyes of his... Here's a desperate love song for that lad, best sung to a tune by Billy Joel.

Billy Joel – She's Always a Woman

Cherry Pie and Me

When the weather is bad, I just stay inside
With the one that I love, so tasty and nice
Cherry pie and me

Nothing compares to you, no pie is so sweet
As yer my dear love, yer all that I need
Cherry pie and me

All I want to eat is you

Outside a nice crust, inside a sweet heart
The most perfect pie as there can be
Cherry pie and me

I hope no-one gets between you and me
Our love's to share with nobody else
Cherry pie and me

All I want to eat is you
All I want to eat is you

Cherry pie and me
Cherry pie and me




About the song

This song is about love... to a cherry pie. Very hobbity. Best hummed to a tune about a Cherry Blossom Girl by Air. Here, you can see me perform the tune at my burrow.

 

Pycella Woodberry – Cherry Pie and Me

A Thousand Pies

Once I saw a boy, such a joy
His eyes burnt so bright

But he liked adventuring
Like no hobbit never does, never does
He went away

But I need him
And I miss him
And now I wonder...

If I could bake
All those pies
Do you think he'd change his mind?
'Cause I would give him a thousand pies
If that could just bring him...
Home

Sometimes lads lose their minds
They go so wild
Oh that darn Tookish side!

Why they just can't stay
Let their hair turn gray
Resting in the lap of a pie seller girl?

And I need him
And I miss him
And now I wonder...

If I could bake
All those pies
Do you think he'd change his mind?
'Cause I would give him a thousand pies
If that could just bring him...
Home

Home, home
If I could bring him home
With pies, pies

If I could lure him
With pies, pies
Bring him back
Would it work?

Distance can strengthen love
But it makes one sore
So cold to sleep alone

That boy is a fool
Likes adventuring too
It's so, just so dangerous

But I still need him
And I still miss him
And now I wonder....

If I could bake
All those pies
Do you think he'd change his mind?
'Cause I would give him a thousand pies
If that could just bring him...

If I would bake
All those pies
I am sure he'd change his mind!
When a lad gets a thousand pies
That will bring him...
Or at least lure him...
Home

About the song

Here is one of my first tunes where pies and love are combined into a sweet mixture. It is best sung to a similar tune about Thousand Miles. Here you can see me perform the tune in me burrow.

 

Pycella Woodberry - A Thousand Pies

The Plump Hobbit

This is a story about a hobbit called Will.

When Will was born, his mother soon took notice of the boy's love for all edible things. Even among hobbits who love food above everything, Will stood out with his endless appetite. He could easily clean up a fully laden feast table of food all by himself. He licked the dishes so clean that the dishwashing seemed unnecessary. That made the dishwashers happy, but the mother was exhausted – she had to cook like a storm for the boy. Wiping sweat from her brow, she used to say:
"I just wait for the day when that boy is grown up and marries a sweet lass. Then I can pass all this cooking on to her!"

But getting a lass for Will wasn't an easy task. You know, all that eating had a great impact on Will's appearance... To put it kindly, he was a bit plump and not that popular with the girls. At least the ones that could cook. That didn't bother Will for a long time though, because he only had eyes for one thing: food.

When Will reached the end of his tweens, he suddenly realised that he had fallen in love. The lucky lass was one of the most esteemed pie bakers of the Shire. The only problem was that the lass was already engaged to another lad. She had no eyes for the plump hobbit, even though Will visited her pie shop on a daily, sometimes even on an hourly basis. But Will didn't give up.
"She is not married yet," he thought. "There is still hope!"

But all too soon, the wedding day dawned. The whole Shire was invited. And all came, at least to gobble down the pies. There were at least a hundred of them, all baked by the talented fiancée. Will was there too, looking shyly at the pies and their pretty baker.

All of a sudden, the baker lass gasped and broke into tears.
"Oh my! I have lost my wedding ring!" she cried.
"It must have gotten into one of those pies while baking!"
"The wedding is ruined!" she wept.
It seemed impossible to find the ring, as there were so many pies. But not too many for one particular hobbit lad...
"Do not worry, Miss. I will find that ring for you," Will said.
"But how?" the baker lass asked.
Without an answer, Will walked to the first pie table and started eating. He chewed each slice carefully, trying to spot a possible ring inside it. Folks gaped at him while he ate the pies like there was no tomorrow.
"How can he take that all?" they whispered.
"One more slice and he will explode! And I will lose my appetite!" someone groaned.
And many said...
"He never stops eating! A disgusting display...but that reminds me, I am rather hungry! Where is supper?"
But Will didn't explode nor stop; he went on, determined. Then, suddenly, people saw him frown.
"Oh no! He will heave now!" the guests gasped.

But Will didn't heave; he just opened his mouth, full of pie, and pulled something out...
Will wobbled to the baker lass and, losing his balance, kneeled in front of her, holding a ring in his hand.
Will tried to say something, but his mouth was still full of pie and he could only mumble. Everyone watched the scene with excitement. Did Will propose her?
The baker lass took the ring and gasped: "Oh, Will!"
But all that the guests could hear was: "I will!"
And so they started to cheer and congratulate.
The baker lass blushed, realising the awkwardness of the situation.
"Oh well," she thought. "Who could be a better husband than Will?"
"He ate all those pies for me, despite the risk of being humiliated himself."
So she said, this time loud and clear: "Yes, I am happy to have you as my husband!"
That made Will very happy.

After the wedding incident, Will no longer was a joke among hobbits; he gained some respect too. And so, one day he even reached a notable position in the Shire.

By now, you should know whom this story has been about...
Yes, our Mayor Will Whitfoot, the Old Flourdumpling.
May he will happily ever after, and never stop eating.
The End.

The Most Beautiful Thing

Once there was a kingdom of men in a faraway land. It was a peaceful kingdom led by a wise king. The king and queen had only one child, a daughter, beautiful as the morning sky. Lovely as she was, she wanted to be surrounded by beautiful things as well. Thus the castle was covered in decorations and other fair things. The king and the queen loved her deeply and respected her every wish.

Time passed and the princess came of age. Soon the she would have to marry someone suitable. When the king asked her whom she would like to marry, she answered:
'I will marry the man who presents me the most beautiful thing in the world.'

And so the king declared that any man who would bring the princess the most beautiful thing would become her husband and future king. All unmarried men saw their chance and wanted to rise to the challenge. They gathered beautiful jewels, clothes, decorations and paintings. Each wanted to impress the princess with their gifts. But as the princess was already surrounded by beauty, it was very hard to impress her. She turned away every suitor, saying:

'I already have something more beautiful than this in my castle.'
It seemed that nothing would be enough for her.

One day, a harsh-looking man arrived at the castle. He was a traveller with shabby, worn out clothes. His beard was unshaven and hair unkempt. Usually such a man would never have had access to the castle, but as he introduced himself as a suitor, he was led to the princess. When the princess saw him from her throne, she screwed up her face with disgust.
'What would you possibly have to present me, suitor?' she asked the man.
'The most beautiful thing, of course,' the man replied.
He pulled something out of his pocket. Everyone gasped:the man was holding an onion, of all things!
The princess stared at the onion, thunderstruck. 'Is this some kind of jape, mister?' she asked.
'Not at all', the man replied. 'This is not a usual onion.'
'It is a bulb that'll grow into the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.'

And so, they let the man plant the bulb into the garden where he took care of it. The man spent long hours with his planting. The princess watched him in secret. She saw how the man sang to the plant and encouraged it to flourish. She saw how the man tended the plant, watered it and cherished it. It became clear how very much the plant meant for the man. The princess saw kindness and devotion in him like never before.

Eventually the flower bloomed. It was a beautiful lily blooming in all shades of red, orange and, of course, yellow. The princess looked at the flower for a long time and returned to her quarters. Then she called the man to her.
'You said that you would bring me the most beautiful thing in the world,' she said.
The man nodded but didn't say a thing.
'You kept your promise, dear sir. You showed me the most beautiful thing.'
'But it wasn't the flower,' she added.
'You have taught me that not only onions have layers, dear sir.'
'You might look a bit harsh on the outside, but inside, your heart is pure gold.'
'I saw how you tended the flower and cared for it with devotion.'
'You showed me the most beautiful thing, and it was love.'
The man nodded and stepped forward.
'You are as wise as beautiful, my princess.'
'For love is a thing that needs tending and care, and above all, patience.'
'But when it blooms, it is the most beautiful thing in the world,' he concluded.
The princess smiled. 'Now it's my turn to keep my promise. I will be your wife gladly.'
And for the first time in her life, the princess kneeled and offered her hand to the man.

Thus the man and the princess were married, and they ruled as equals.
So remember: 'All that is gold does not glitter,' as Ronald Dwale writes.
The end.

The Oak Tree

Here is my very first story I told at the Green Dragon. It is about a special tree...

The Oak Tree 

Once there was a hill with two trees. The trees were quite different from each other: the other was a massive and sturdy oak tree, and the other a small, thin cherry tree. The heavy oak tree creaked in the wind, but the cherry tree sung merrily in the breeze, its leaves flapping. Even though these trees were so different from each other, they two were deeply in love with each other. The oak tree provided some shelter for the cherry tree, when it rained and thundered. The cherry tree cheered the big oak tree when the weather was dull. They were happy together, on that hill they shared.

But one day, the happy love met its end. A company of foresters came and felled the cherry tree, because they needed some cherry wood for their woodwork. The oak tree watched how they cut down the cherry tree and took it away. It couldn't do anything against it.

'I am a mere tree, rooted into the ground. I cannot stop them in any way,' it thought sadly.

And alas, the oak tree was all alone on that hill. Alone and angry. A silent wrath begun to build inside the oak tree. It hated everything around it. It had lost its love, and it was unable to forgive it to the world. Every time a squirrel, a bird or any other creature tried to climb up the tree, the tree whipped them down with its branches and drove them away. After a while, no creature came up that hill anymore. The oak tree stood there alone, dwelling in its anger.

Then one day, a young hobbit lad climbed up the hill. The oak tree thought it was another of them foresters, but the lad didn't have an axe, nor did he seek lumber. The lad stood there for while, peering at the distance. The oak tree looked at him with suspicion.

When the oak tree had grown tired of him and wanted to throw one of his acorns at him, the lad whistled and waved at someone he had seen. A young hobbit lass came running up the hill. She run up to the lad and threw her arms around him and kissed him. The two lovers talked, held hands and smiled. But for most of the time, they just sat there together on the grass, looking at each other.

After that, the oak tree saw them come to the hill almost every day. The lovers talked about many things - about how their parents were against their relationship, but how they would still marry each other one day. They talked about having children, a burrow of their own, and other dreams they shared. The oak tree observed it all with amazement. Slowly, its frozen heart began to melt.

Then one day, the two lovers fell asleep under the oak tree, and a storm rose. It was a terrible and powerful summer storm, thunder and lightning, strong winds and piercing rain. When the couple woke up, it was too late to return back safely.
'What to do now?' the lass cried. 'What if the lightning strikes us here up here, on the hill?'
The lad tried to calm her down, but there was fear in his eyes as well.
The oak tree realized their distress, and it wanted to help.
'This time', it thought, 'I won't stay still and watch love die. I have to do something.'

And so it did.
The oak tree gathered all its strength and begun to bend itself towards the ground. The hobbit lass saw what was happening. 'Look!' she shouted. 'The tree is falling!'
'No, it's not falling,' the lad said. 'It is bending itself against the wind, that's unnatural.'
'As if it's doing it on purpose,' the lad whispered.

When the branches of the tree reached the ground, the roots couldn't hold it to the ground any longer. They sprang up from the earth, leaving the tree lying loose. The hobbit lad got an idea. 'We can hide beneath the tree's branches. They'll provide us a great shelter.' And so they crawled beneath the branches, holding on to the trunk. Luckily, they survived the storm, thanks to the fallen tree.

When the storm was over, the two emerged from their shelter, safe and sound. Before returning to their homes, the lad looked at the oak tree.
'Thank you,' he whispered, not knowing, if the tree was even still alive.

Next day, the lovers decided to return to the hill and pay homage to its great sacrifice which had saved them both. But when they went up the hill, the tree was gone.
There was only a massive hole in the ground where the tree had stood, no roots or branches to be seen. No one was sure what happened to it, but as you may know, sometimes even trees can act strangely.

After a while, there was a big fuss in one of the Southfarthing villages. A great oak tree had emerged from out of nowhere, standing in the middle of the main square. People felt a bit anxious about it for a while, but they got used to it. Birds and squirrels loved that tree, and it provided a great shelter for the rain. The village folk made it their party tree, and numerous festivities took place around that tree. The people used to say it was the happiest tree of them all. It really seemed to love all the music and life that surrounded it. And indeed, it was the happiest tree of them all. Maybe it's the tree in your village, who knows?