Master Shyloc and the Ghost

Master Shyloc was on one of his unhurried morning strolls in his home village. It was then that his wandering eyes spotted something strange in his neighbour's yard. There was a colourful lump with a pointy top in Miss Cherry Silkytoes' yard.
"That's one huge pampered mushroom Miss Cherry has managed to grow this year," Master Shyloc admired.
But when he approached the mushroom, it turned out that it wasn't a mushroom at all.
"Miss Cherry!" Master Shyloc shouted out and shook the unconscious lady who was lying on the grass under her pointy hat. Slowly, Miss Cherry opened her eyes and cried out. "Oh, such a horrible thing!"
"What is it, Miss?" Shyloc asked. "What happened to you?"
"It was a horrible ghost!" Miss Cherry exclaimed. "It dragged me out of the house!"
Master Shyloc helped her stand up. "Miss Cherry, you have had a strange dream!"
"It was no dream, I assure you!" Miss Cherry persisted. "I was enjoying my morning tea and meal, when it grabbed me and dragged me outside! And it didn't end there: it turned me into a... mushroom!"
Master Shyloc tried not to smile. "Well, I did mistake you for a mushroom first. A good impression."
"Don't make fun of the situation, Master Shyloc!" Miss Cherry hissed. "It wasn't a dream! I never nap while I eat breakfast! And I won't go inside until that ghost has been dealt with!" she added. "Would you be so kind and drive the ghost away?"
"Why, sure," Master Shyloc said and went inside.

As he expected, there were no ghosts and nothing out of the ordinary – except the unfinished breakfast, consisting of apples, eggs, bacon and pie. Master Shyloc took a slice of bacon and went outside, licking his lips. "It seems quite safe," he said to Miss Cherry and waved bye, continuing his morning stroll.

But he had only passed a few burrows when Master Togo ran to him, looking petrified.
"Calm down, dear sir" Master Shyloc said to the hobbit and offered his pipe to him.
After a few nervous puffs, Master Togo could speak. "A ghost threw me out of my burrow just now. It tried to turn me into a mushroom!"
Master Togo did look like a mushroom as well, dressed in his wide-brimmed straw hat, Master Shyloc thought. Shyloc frowned. "Would you like me to have a look into your burrow?"
"Oh, thank you so much!" Master Togo sighed. "I didn't even manage to finish my breakfast!"
Once again, Master Shyloc went inside and inspected the rooms, but there was not a sign of a ghost. He stopped by the breakfast table and looked at the apples, pie, bacon and sausages. He picked up an apple and ate it quickly before going outside. "The place is quite safe, Master Togo," he said and departed, licking his lips.

But once again, his morning stroll was interrupted. This time, it was the old Missus Berylla who was weeping in her yard, looking like a mushroom under her rain hat.
"Let me guess," Master Shyloc sighed. "A ghost threw you out while you were having a breakfast?"
Missus Berylla looked a bit baffled, but she nodded.
"Would you like me to take a look at your breakf... into your, err, burrow?" Master Shyloc asked.
Once again, Master Shyloc went inside. He did enjoy to taste other folks' breakfasts, but still... Something was amiss here.

There was no ghost in Missus Berylla's burrow, as he had suspected. He went to look at the unfinished breakfast, consisting of bacon, sausages, apples and pie. Master Shyloc sat down and scratched his head. Finally, he took a slice of pie and ate it.


The walls started to wobble. The air filled with ominous, green gas and there, he saw it approach: a ghost, transparent and evil-looking. Master Shyloc shook his head, but the ghost didn't disappear. It got closer!
"Did you come to turn me into a mushroom?" Master Shyloc enquired.
The ghost grinned, but didn't say a word. It pointed at the burrow door.
"I can find my way out on my own, thank you," Master Shyloc said and stood up carefully. "I trust you find your way out too."
The ghost looked a bit disappointed. Master Shyloc took a sausage from the table and wobbled out with his walking stick.

Outside, the green gas disappeared as Master Shyloc inhaled the fresh morning air. "Your burrow is quite safe now, Missus Berylla" Master Shyloc said. "Just dispose of the mushroom pie, it seems to be spoiled."
"Where did you get that pie, Missus?" he asked, munching the sausage.
Missus Berylla directed him to a pie seller (who remains anonymous in this story).

Miss Pie Seller was disgusted to hear that her mushroom pies had made people see ghosts.
"It must have to do with the ingredients," Master Shyloc said. "Have you changed the recipe recently?"
Miss Pie Seller shrugged. "Not really. I just got a new mushroom supplier, that's all."
And she directed Master Shyloc to another burrow which belonged to the supplier.
The supplier seemed to be engaged in some serious bagpipe-tooting, so Master Shyloc took the liberty to inspect the mushroom tent on his own.
The air was filled with green gas. Through it, Master Shyloc saw a company of ghosts playing cards in the corner of the tent. He left the tent hastily and went to the pie seller, advising her to use a safer mushroom supplier for her bakery.
"What about the pies though?" Miss Pie Seller asked. "It would be a shame to throw them away!"
Master Shyloc grinned. "I know a solution."

On another autumn morning, Miss Lobelia Sackville-Baggins received a huge pie delivery. But she wasn't very fond of mushroom pies, so she took them to a newly-discovered cellar beneath Bag End. They say that the cellar has been haunted ever since... But that's another story.
So, that's how Master Shyloc solved the case of the ghost and got an extra breakfast at the same time.
The End.

((This story was inspired by the "burrow bug" that appeared after an update. People were kicked out of their homes all of a sudden and found themselves in their yard, unable to enter their burrow for a few minutes.))

The Mystery of the Ugly Task Boards

It had been a rather rainy spring, and old Master Shyloc was under the weather. He hadn't gone outside for two weeks, but that didn't bother him much, actually. He had just moved from Michel Delving to a village in the Southfarthing, to a comfy little burrow. The former resident had (for some strange reason) left all his food and wine cellars untouched, so Master Shyloc didn't have much desire to go outside. Besides, the former resident had left a pile of crossword puzzles behind. Master Shyloc was pretty happy to have a good excuse to stay inside and avoid the neighbours!

One day though, that happiness came to an end. Master Shyloc had just laid a tasty piece of pie on his plate and was wondering what's “the main export of Budgeford” (consisting of four letters) when he heard a loud knock on his door. First, he tried to pretend that he wasn’t at home, but then he saw two sharp eyes spot him through the front window. “Bah,” he grumbled and proceeded to the front door as slowly as he could and opened it, hoping that the guest would have gone away in the meantime.

But she wasn't. It was a hobbit lady, waving a long piece of parchment in her hand.
“I am not buying anything...” Master Shyloc started, but the lady interrupted him.
”I am here to collect signatures fer this petition. Petition against them ugly boards!”
”I am sure yer want to sign this, Master...?”
”Master Shyloc, aye. What boards are you talking about?”
The hobbit lady flashed a halfway friendly grin. ”Oh, Master Shyloc that is! Pleased ter meet yer! Me name's Cherry Silkytoes.” Then she frowned again.
”Yer haven't seen them boards yet? Yer must be livin' like a hermit! Or do you have a bad eyesight?”
Before Shyloc could defend himself against these accusations, Cherry took his hand and began to drag him towards the village centre.

Once the two were there, Master Shyloc saw it: a row of large notice boards covered with notes.
”It's an eyesore!” Cherry cried. ”Totally pointless boards spoiling our beautiful village!”
”What are those notes on them?” Shyloc asked.
”It must be that menace from Hobbiton, Ted Sandyman”, Cherry explained.
”He wants us to gather all kinds of nasty stuff for him.”
”Bulbous goo, dirty ears, mossy carapaces, sticky filth, finger bones!”
Master Shyloc looked baffled. ”What does he need those for, that Miller's son?”
”Heaven only knows! No matter what, we want these boards out of our village!” Cherry said, waving her finger like a sword. ”The village centre will not only look awful, but smell awful too, in time! Imagine all that goo piled up next to these boards... Yuck! This is not a pigsty!”
Master Shyloc nodded. ”Well, I guess I will sign this petition then...”
”Oh wonderful! I think I have gathered enough signatures now, after yers is added to it,” Cherry said happily. Then she looked at Shyloc. ”You being so respected and, err, old, could you mayhaps present this petition ter Sandyman?”
Before Master Shyloc could answer, Cherry had vanished and left him with the petition in his hand.
”Oh, why not?” Shyloc thought. ”It has been a while since I have visited the Ivy Bush. Just let me finish that pie first…”

So, Master Shyloc travelled all the way to Hobbiton to present the petition to Ted Sandyman himself.
”A petition? What this time now”, Ted Sandyman hissed in his usual manner.
Master Shyloc explained the background to Sandyman as calmly as he could.
”What? Yer honestly think I have put up those stupid boards?” Sandyman said. ”What on earth would I do with all that bulbous goo and carapaces? Put up a restaurant for toads?”
”So... You are not behind this at all?” Master Shyloc asked.
”Of course not, old fool! Now off with yer, I have some real work to do,” Sandyman said and went away.
”A new mystery to solve then,” Shylock muttered to himself. ”That means I need some brandy.”
Shyloc discovered brandy down the road in the Ivy Bush. He sat there and listened to the gossip, trying to find clues concerning the boards.

But he heard nothing of note. It was late at night when he started his journey back to Southfarthing. Feeling a bit lazy, he decided to take a little shortcut through the woods. And as you know, “shortcut” is another expression for “running into trouble”.

Walking in the woods was hard, especially when Shyloc's head was a bit dizzy from brandy. He decided to sit down for a while and rest, and then he fell asleep.
Suddenly he woke up to loud screaming and something smashing against his face.
He wiped the stuff from his face with his hand and looked. Loose little eyes looked at him from his palm.
”Dear heavens!” Shyloc thought and decided to go easier on the brandy in future.
Then, another pile of slime hit his back.

Soon he realised that he was standing in the middle of a battlefield. Little creatures were running around him and throwing all kinds of nasty stuff at him. All Master Shyloc could do was to cover his face and try not to fall down.
”What on earth are these unholy foes?” he thought. ”Restless spirits? Goblins?”
They were throwing bulbous goo, dirty ears, mossy carapaces, sticky filth, finger bones...”

Then Master Shyloc realised it.
”Stop! Stop now! I know who you are! You are the ones behind those boards!” he screamed.
The battle stopped in an instant, and Master Shyloc heard whispers.
”Oh my, he ain't a goblin at all! He's an old hobbit!” one voice whispered.
”But his breath stank so bad, like a goblin’s bottom,” another voice said.
“And looks like one,” another whisper added.
Master Shylock looked at the attackers more closely... Only to see a gang of tweens!
”What on earth are you doing here?” Master Shylock asked.
”Why are you collecting all that stuff and throwing it at innocent folks?”
One brave fellow stepped forward. ”We don't want to bother anyone, Master.”
”We are just a group of young hobbits who like to keep our little Shire safe.”
”We decided to start battle training in secret, so one day we might be talented enough to become bounders!”
”Oh,” Master Shyloc said. ”So that's why you are gathering stuff using those ugl--... err, task boards?”
”Yes, dear sir. We are getting pretty good at this... Oh, sorry. We thought you were an intruder, a goblin or somet...”
”I hope you won't tell about this to our mothers... That would be the end of us!” a little tween cried.
Master Shyloc pondered. ”I will keep your secret... on one condition!”
The tweens pricked up their ears when Master Shyloc gave some instructions in a low voice.

It was an early morning when Ted Sandyman strolled towards his mill. When he reached it, he soon realised that something was wrong. The wheel of the mill was stuck! After some serious grumbling, he tried to fix the wheel and get it work again. Finally, he managed to pull out a broken dagger that had been blocking the wheel. But as the wheel began to whirl again, it started throwing out the nastiest stuff you could imagine:
Bulbous goo, dirty ears, mossy carapaces, sticky filth, finger bones... Among others!
And it all landed on Ted Sandyman.
”Good morning to you!” a merry voice came from the nearby bridge.
It was Master Shyloc who happened to be on an early morning stroll.
”I just had the most refreshing bath ever!” Shyloc continued, merry as ever.
”That could do good for you too, Master Sandyman! You're looking filthier than that rug in the Dragon!”
And that is how Master Shyloc solved the Mystery of the Ugly Task Boards and got a bath.
The End.

((This story was inspired by the many task boards that were added into all homesteads at some point in-game. Not everyone liked them then either…))

The Mystery of the Missing Flowers

Even though the Shire is a peaceful place, some mysterious things happen there from time to time.

Mysteries that need someone to solve them…

This is a story about a retired hobbit, Master Shyloc, who lived in Michel Delving. Despite of his name, Shyloc was everything else but shy: he was a very outgoing gentlehobbit. He lived near the Michel Delving square where everything was always at hand: market, ale and gossip, among other things.

It was a late summer evening, as Master Shyloc laid his head on his pillow, about to fall asleep. Yet the peace was disturbed by a loud, terrible noise which streamed in from his bedroom window. It sounded like five cats being forced to take a bath. Master Shyloc jumped up and peered out from the window.

The sound came from the Michel Delving Square. It wasn't five cats, but five Badgers, all playing bagpipes like maniacs!
"Dear heavens," Master Shyloc muttered. "Every time that yellow-dressed lass is away, those Badgers go mad! They should be called 'the Mad Badgers'!"
Master Shyloc was about to close his window to avoid the noise when he heard a scream. It was his neighbor, Marigold. "Better go and see what's happening there", Master Shyloc thought and took his cloak.

He found his neighbor in her own garden, crying her eyes out.
"What on earth is happening here?" Shyloc spat out, being too tired to be polite.
"Oh dear Master, this is a scandal!" Marigold explained, sobbing. "All my begonias are gone, root and all!"
"What?" Master Shyloc. "I assume those are some type of flower, eh?"
"Of course they are, old fool!" she hissed. "These were prized red begonias, worth of a fortune and more!"
Master Shyloc spotted some movement at the corner of his eye. A cow was crossing the road leading to Little Delving.
"You should probably ask that cow how "prized" they tasted," Master Shyloc muttered and strutted back to his burrow.

But apparently, it wasn't the cow who ate those flowers. Next evening, Master Shyloc had already fallen asleep when he heard a female screaming - again.

This time, it was another neighbor, Miss Roseanne, who was cursing and stomping angrily in her garden.
"Some **** rascal has pushed out all my roses!" she shouted.
"Calm down, Miss," Shyloc said, "Your screaming will wake up the whole town, even the bounders."
"They should wake up! This is thieves' work here!" Roseanne grumbled.
Something caught Shyloc's eye. It was Master Rumblebelly who seemingly was on a very late walk.
"Probably you should ask Master Rumblebelly there," Shyloc said to Roseanne.
"He is known for his ROSE dyes, if you know what I mean."
Then he returned to his bed, leaving the poor Master Rumblebelly in the claws of Miss Roseanne.

But Master Rumblebelly wasn't the one who took the roses. Another night came, but this time Master Shyloc wasn't asleep: he was doing brandy tasting at the Bird and Baby. When he was finished with the drinking activities and gossip, it was already very, very dark. As he wobbled down the road, he heard strange commotion coming from a nearby yard. First he thought he saw some kind of animal digging the ground, but then he saw a red-haired fellow digging the ground.
"Oi! What are you doing there?" he shouted at the digger.
Taken by surprise, the digger let out a short cry and darted away from the yard. Without hesitation, Shyloc started to chase him, still driven by the power of brandy.

Then the chase came to a halt - the digger was gone. Shyloc was huffing and puffing. He was standing in front of Mayor's quarters. He looked around and tried to spot the digger.
"It must be the flower thief!" Shyloc concluded. "He or she must be hiding here somewhere..."
Then, Shyloc saw a tiny hole in the garden fence. "Maybe the thief is hiding there, in Mayor's garden."
When Shyloc got through the tight whole, losing some of his buttons in the process, he saw it: the biggest flower garden he had seen in his life. There were all kinds of flowers there.

There were begonias and roses too…
And there was a shaking, squeaking young hobbit lad who was trying to hide behind a pile of goat dung.
"No use to hide anymore, lad," Shyloc said. "I know you're the one stealing those flowers."
"Sweet sir, please don't let them know!" the lad sobbed. "I am just trying to help the Mayor with his garden!"
"By stealing other people's flowers? That's not gardening, that's stealing!" Shyloc scolded the fellow.
"Please, try to understand!" the lad begged. "I am a very poor gardener... I... I always kill those poor flowers."
"Mayor hired me as a gardener, but I cannot do the job properly. The flowers just die away..."
"I thought I would borrow some flowers from others, so the Mayor wouldn't notice anything..."
Master Shyloc nodded and took his pipe out of his pocket.
He smoked in all peace for a while, lost in his thoughts. At last, he spoke.
"I think I know how to solve this," he said quietly. "But I need your help, lad."

They were up all night, working hard and silent.
When the sun rose, there was a loud knock on the Mayor's door.
"What now, at this hour?" Mayor Whitfoot grumbled, rising slowly from his bed. When he came to the front door, he faced a huge crowd.

Still wearing his nightgown, the Mayor felt himself a bit agitated. "What is it?" he asked.
"We came to thank you for that lovely surprise! It is lovely!" Marigold said.
The Mayor was baffled. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, don't be so modest! The new park is absolutely wonderful!" Roseanne said and pointed at the Michel Delving square.

Then the Mayor saw it. Out of nowhere, a huge flowery park had appeared around the Bounder's Statue.
The Mayor wobbled to the place to take a closer look at the mysterious park.
"But... These are my... My flowers!" he realized.
"Well, we already figured that one out, didn't we", Roseanne said. "I can see you borrowed some of my roses too."
"Dear Mayor," Marigold said, "if I had known it was you who took our flowers from our gardens, I wouldn't have been so angry!"
"But it was all worth it! It is so lovely to have all these flowers here where everyone can see them!" Roseanne said proudly.
The Mayor was feeling totally lost, but said nothing.
"No one has never been so happy with me," he thought.
"I'd better just pretend I'm behind all this... They may give me some food!"

Master Shyloc and a rather tired-looking young gardener watched the scene from a little distance.
"You are a genius, the gardener said. "You really saved me."

When the night came, Master Shyloc looked out of his bedroom window. The town was peaceful. No screaming, no shouting... And no...

Master Shyloc saw how five Badgers gathered in the new park for some bagpiping. But even as they started playing, only a faint sound of tooting reached Master Shyloc's ears.
"I really am a genius," he thought. "Those flowers and bushes dampen the noise quite effectively!" And so he went to his bed and fell asleep.
The end.

((I got the inspiration for this story when the garden around the Michel Delving Bounder statue was introduced in-game.))